Always
by slytherinphoenix116
Summary: For as long as he can remember, Severus Snape has only truly cared for one person. Now, as he lays dying, Severus begins to wish, as he has for years, that he could Lily just one more time. Who knows. His wish just might come true. Songfic to Bonjovi


_This Romeo is bleeding  
But you can't see his blood_

It all happened so quickly, in a split second. His snake attacked, her fangs sunk into my neck. As I collapsed on the floor, pain flowing through my body, the Dark Lord left, knowing that my death would not take long. Then, Potter emerged from the shadows.

_  
It's nothing but some feelings  
That this old dog kicked up  
_

Instinctively, I pulled him close enough to me that he could hear me mutter, "Take…it.." in a hoarse rasp that didn't sound like my own. Muttering a few spells, my memories began to seep from my skull. Luckily, Granger had the presence of mind to bring a container to store them.

_  
It's been raining since you left me  
Now I'm drowning in the flood _

I gave him the memories that he needed to see, those in which the Headmaster detailed the boy's destined role in the events which were to come. But I knew that I must give him more, as he would never believe me otherwise. He would never be able to see through my mistakes. The stupid boy wouldn't realize that you couldn't tamper with memories until they were outside your mind, and that I obviously didn't have time to change them.

_  
You see I've always been a fighter  
But without you I give up  
_

So I gave him memories of when we met, and of the promise I made after you died, a promise to protect your son and make sure that your sacrifice was not in vain. I could only hope that Potter was convinced enough to trust in what he had to do. If not, everything I'd done to try to keep the Dark Lord in vain would be worthless. Without the information I was giving Potter, no one had a chance.

_  
I can't sing a love song  
Like the way it's meant to be _

Suddenly, I felt possessed by an overwhelming desire to do one thing. The last sixteen years of my life had been centered around making decisions because of you. Just one last time before I died, I wanted to look into your eyes.

_  
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore  
But baby, that's just me  
_

"Look…at…me.." I whispered. Potter, surprised, looked directly into my eyes. Bright emerald, and, to my surprise, showing some hint of concern within their depths. These eyes looked more like yours every day, and, somehow, less like the boy's wretched father.

_  
And I will love you, baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always _

In that moment, or, perhaps, less than a moment, since time had seemed to come to a standstill, I realized just how much I yearned for the friend I had lost so long ago. All these years I had kept myself going with nothing but pure determination that I had to keep living, that I couldn't give up and fail you. Somehow, though, I had been worried.

_  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme _

I had been worried that after all this time, my duty to Potter would become no more than that, a duty. I was afraid to think about you, because I didn't want to risk that somehow, I had become bitter, and I had forgotten that I cared for you.

_  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you - Always  
_

I needn't have worried. Even now, I am haunted by you, because even now, I care for you. I am both haunted and comforted by the memories. They are all I have left of you now.

_  
Now your pictures that you left behind  
Are just memories of a different life _

There were so many moments, frozen in my mind like photographs. Now, looking back, it seems I am watching the life of a stranger, instead of my own. How could I ever have been that happy? How could I ever have been that trusting? I had let myself get hurt.

_  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry  
One that made you have to say goodbye _

I remember when we met, when I told you about magic. I remember when our sortings separated us. And, most of all, I remember when my foolishness drove us apart for good.

_What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair  
To touch your lips, to hold you near _

I wish that you had given me the chance I didn't deserve, just so I could have said that I was sorry and had you believe me. I know that you would have no reason to believe me. I know that I wasn't trustworthy back then. But, still, I hoped.

_  
When you say your prayers try to understand  
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man _

I hate who I was back then. I made horrific choices that I'm hardly proud of. I made choices that changed me indefinitely. I made choices that killed the person I cared most about.__

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near  
When he says the words you've been needing to hear 

Every time I saw you with James, I burned with jealousy. I asked myself, 'Why would you choose him over your friend?' 'Was what I had done that unforgivable?' Now, I know the answers to those questions, but, back then, jealousy possessed me.

_  
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine  
To say to you till the end of time _

Then, Potter's face came back to taunt me, except, now, he had your eyes. The boy was living proof that never, never could I regain my place in your heart. __

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always 

But I lose the energy to reminisce as my life fades. However, there is one thing, at least, that I can take pride in. It may not be much, but I cling to it with every fiber of my being. __

If you told me to cry for you, I could  
If you told me to die for you , I would 

I can truthfully tell myself that I would have done anything to keep my promise to you. In the end, I even gave my life, by being here, when I could have been relatively safer with the order if I had disobeyed the Headmaster all those months ago. So, of that one thing, I can be proud.

_  
Take a look at my face  
There's no price I won't pay, to say these words to you  
_

Something seems to change in Potter's eyes. I know death must be closing in, because I had obviously begun to hallucinate. For instead of Potter's face staring down at me, I saw yours._  
Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice  
But baby if you give me just one more try _

"Severus," you say softly, "It's time to go." Strangely, you're smiling. Why would you be smiling at me? In some ways, you don't seem real, but in others, you're more real than anything else. "Where?" I ask idiotically.

_  
We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines _

"You'll see," you say, now grinning even wider. "A place of second chances." I had never been a religious man, but now I hoped beyond hope that this wasn't a hallucination. "Is there, something out there?" I ask, and my voice sounds more natural, less the corpse-like rasp it had been moments before. "Is there something after this." You simply nodded, and took my hand. __

And I will love you, baby - Always  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always 

Suddenly, I was standing. My body wasn't gushing blood, and I was in a place unfamiliar to me. You led me through a world so unlike the one I had known. Everything seemed so alive, and I was too much in awe to realize the irony of that statement. Finally, we seemed to reach our destination. To my surprise, I was looking up at Hogwarts castle.

_  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine  
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme _

"Back here?" I asked. You nodded again. "I told you, this is the place of second chances. Do you want another chance?" Of course I did. I had been waiting my entire life for another chance. Together, we pushed open the door to the castle, and I followed her inside.

_And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind  
And I'll love you – Always_


End file.
